My life - A fading color

2^nd January 2010, exams got over after ruining our New Year. But, to compensate this I went home the very same day. A heartiest of welcomes, which I desperately needed after giving 10 exams (thanks to 2 repeated papers I had to sit for again) in a span of 17 days.And to put my misery in a proper sentence, 4 papers in 3 days of which 2 were on the same day.

This, after I had given my ass, studying for almost 8 hours a day during exams (not on all days), 3^rd semester onwards. But to my luck or should I say my hard work I got 66, 68, 58 and 55 in respective semesters, well below my heavy expectations, and thus I lost all the hope and aim to maintain an aggregate of 70 and above. The 58 and 55’s came with 2 backs,1 each time. DSP (which went on to become my biggest nightmare) and Micro Processors (to my luck). I was not able to clear DSP in 5^th semester even after studying the subject to the best of my ability; Mr. VTU (my university) had set a paper wherein to my knowledge no one cleared from 12 who wrote the repeat exam. To my horror people called it degree stopping paper.

This paper fell between 2 regular papers of 6^th semester (1^st one I do not remember but 2^nd will always be haunting me for a long time). And this was micro processors. Expecting 40 – 45 out of 100, I got 28. Putting it for a regular revaluation and then for a challenge revaluation did not help the cause. It caused many sleepless shivering nights, tension, and I started being superstitious, lost my diet (anorexic) and started losing faith in God. Then I started distancing myself away from my own friends who cleared all and others who cleared after reval results. I lost my confidence, and went out in search of new friends. Friends who were of my caliber, or in the same scenario as mine. I was a bozo now who continuously had pessimistic, cursing belief surging through his mind. People say I flunked in micro processor because I was tired after giving 2 exams in 2 days and then giving 3^rd on the next day. But I can’t figure out the right reasons. DSP was my own mistake; I did not study properly and then did not write the paper with complete concentration. After 5^th and 6^th semester results I could feel the pressure and the pain which sparked through my bones each time the topic was discussed, during which time I preferred to stay away and stay calm and composed.

This time I have given both the exams again, but the fear is still there and it has escalated after I failed to clear Infosys written exam yesterday. The slightest hope of getting through was lost, when 4 of my so called friends were selected out of our group of 7.these companies do not allow current backlogs and I have 2. In Infosys I might have hidden my backs and gone through without getting caught. But, now I have to wait for my result before I can sit for another company, as they will definitely ask for my 6^th semester mark sheets. And on failing to do so, they will check their own records. Results are expected anytime soon, and I expect to clear all. But there are some doubts for 1 paper(wireless communication). It was a atrocious paper, and I will pass if they allot marks for the questions out of syllabus.

Almost 300 have been placed; this has reduced the competition for the next companies. But, my frustration has grown varying inversely with competition. I do not have the courage to move out of my room and congratulate others who got through yesterday. Writing this should definitely help me move out of my nest and I appreciate one thing God has gifted me with, to control my frustration and my patience. But at the moment there are more things to pity about than appreciate. I write this to relieve my stress, show my anger and frustration and then at the same time to refocus myself, as someone has rightly said, “when you can not do anything then you should do what you like the best and suits you at that point of time.” Also, I appreciate the support shown by my family and some friends during my torrid times. I just hope that this faded color is restored as soon as possible and this squirming engineer’s tale has a new life.

THE TWO SIDES…

A wall has 2 sides, a coin has 2 sides, there are 2 sides to an individual and there are 2 sides to a fest(festival) ,college fest. On 1/3/09 we had our college fest – “UDBHAV” ,as per schedule it stretched on for the next 2 days as well. It is one and the only mega event of our college. Removing ambiguity in the above statement if any, I don’t mean to say that it’s a depressing, cheap scrap meant for the college bin. But, at the same time it is not a beautiful, breathtaking, throat thickening and some impeccable event like the one’s in IITs , BMS college, Bangalore , or Manipal , Delhi College of Engg , Delhi University , solely because of the monotonous low budget set by our college year after year. But if you have been a part of it then at the end of the day ,you will definitely have symptoms of hypersomnia even after some 10 hours of mega sleep and thirsty for more more and some more( consuming tens and twenties of red bulls does not help in such cases) , exhausted like dead beat , and completely broken down but still ready for more.

Being a part of the fest also has 2 sides to it. And since it’s been 2 consecutive years that I have been a part of it and having seen both the sides very profoundly I must confess “which ever side you are on, it does not matter. What matters is, are you in or are you out??” Last year was one of the best UDBHAV we had witnessed in years. Perhaps the most efficiently managed, most enthralling, most exciting, and feline and yet so on the top. In the year 2008 I was chosen to volunteer for the event, thanks to Java bhaiya. No, it was not a political entry but I had earned it with the right guidance from the experienced lot. From making charts, posters to crowd control to event management I witnessed and experienced it all. The shirts and the I-cards made especially for the college volunteers had put us more than 3 storeys above our colleagues but still 10 storeys below the rest. And I grabbed this opportunity with both hands, both legs and everything I found intact at that moment. This being my first time as a volunteer I neither expected nor got the opportunity to handle the best and the favorite events of the fest like personality, western acoustic and debate. But using my newly acquired volunteer power batch I got the opportunity to get inside the venue and bask the event with the ease of comfort. Personality was my personal favorite, with students selected on the basis of the form they were asked to fill earlier, though the already famous personalities are always a definite choice. They undergo tremendous wooing, tremendous pressure from the judge, eccentric humiliation and some really heated rounds to show of there metal. The meetings at 6:30 in the evening, free lunch in the afternoon, chanting Ramaiah song at the end of each day after the meeting, used to drain us out, and we were left with maybe a few joules of energy, more than enough for us to push us back to the hostel and rest in peace.


Placed lowest in the college hierarchy, with the least power to move across the volunteers to witness the events, waiting in queues to get entry into the venue halls, running all over the place to find the right venue for my favorite event - personality and if lucky enough, to find a vacant seat in the corner gives you an opportunity to be on the other side of the wall. Dancing in groups of hundreds, never ending debates over the fest, making comparisons with the previous ones, jumping over the audiences to get a glimpse of the main stage activities, using the free coupons supplied by our volunteer friends to have Chole-Bhature and red bulls, dressing up in the best outfits to impress others and getting free entry into the cameras. UDBHAV 2009 was also a grand success like all its predecessors, with very less crowd turning up on the first two days of the event, but almost everyone turned up on the last day. Western dance, folk dance, western bands and ILM- Indian music took a lot of toll on us, as we danced to the tune of everything we could hear. Though the weather was pretty hot and sweaty, it was not granted permission to enter the fest and interfere with the proceedings. At the end of the day, even the workers in the canteen were seen dancing and running around, obviously they had struck a record selling in our college. Left with a few joules of energy, more than enough for us to push us back to the hostel and go off to sleep and cognizably nothing to choose between the two sides after all!!!

INSPIRATIONS

Inspiration is what keeps our lives going

it comes with time,

it is created at times, sometimes it is with in us ,

we just need to dig it out at the right time, right place through the right paths!

slumdog milionaire or still a slumdog!!

So how was your new year's eve?? i had a wonderfull time , went for a dinner at Koramangala,Bangalore - Barbeque Nation and then after a few hugs and wishes retrieved back to my room. A late night movie till 5 A.M and thats it!!

An exceptional storyline , amazing acting from some of the best actors of Bollywood , choreography was too good and the kid ,man was he brilliant ? The movie with such a description can only be 'SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE'. Yes sir, i saw the movie, and that too on 31st December 2008. And the movie has not hit the theatres in our country-India. And the harder part is that it was there in my computer almost a week before that. The movie has been nominated for the oscars its super dooper hit in the U.S and the U.K and why not ? But the probability has just increased for it to go through as much losses as it has gained in other countries.

Open your internet browser,search for a torrent file for the movie on Google and there it is. Download the torrent and pull it inside the window of the u-Torrent software. No waste of time, no extra cash , neither fuel wasteage nor energy. And entretainment 100% . Guarenteed!!
Poor Anil bhai and Irfan bhai they must counting numbers and reaching billions, trillions and countables and uncountables but somene please tell them that 40% have already seen the movie. I cant even imagine the numbers going down after this narration.

A movie looses its meaning even before hitting the market, it is perhaps the most disrespectfull and embarrassing part on part of the director and for the other cast involved. Indian theatre showing a true Indian story which has been happening for years and still exists , made by Indian actors, with half the attendance is really embarrasing and homely injustice shown to the movie.

The Internet is both great and terrible. As a source of information, a tool for delivering music and art, it's great. But spamming ads and piracy of music is terrible. It's stealing.

-Gary Wright

A CUPID'S STORY!!!!

I love you, we love each other, i want to spend the rest of my life with you, we are made for each other, she does not deserve him...i think i am a better choice, we will be the most talked about couple in town, he loves me...he loves me not!!!! These are some lines quoted by two people who are in deep love or who will be in love or who love each other and are trying to figure out that one catchy line which would make or break there love life or who want to patch up after breaking up sometime ago. These are one big bunch that has existed in this world of love and terror from the time of Adam & Eve.

But have you ever wondered who is the middleman in the love life of your best friend who just got hooked up with the hottest female in town or your school friends who proposed in class 10th and are all set to get married anytime soon. Ya , almost 80% of the commited relationships bear the name of a middleman. ' GOD in the case of Adam & Eve '. And that can be a male or a female or in some cases even a she-male. And thank god, we have given a name to that middleman ,we call it with all due respect the 'CUPID'.

Its the cupid who has the time of his life when the other two are so nervous, broken, counting days, and spending time ideating both of them three years from now. But, Mr. cupid can't stop boasting about the two of them. He makes a mockery of the everyday comments and feelings the two share with him, narrates the daily updates from one person to the other, adds some 'mirch & masala' to the story to make it all the more exciting, raise and lower the tempo at the right times , gets free lunch , dinner breakfast and snacks and enjoys watching them grow nervous and more nervous after every passing day. But , basking is not all he does. He has to be on his toes everytime he deals with them, patiently listen to both of them and choose his words before speaking out. He has to calm them down ,as you never know when the temperature rises to the skies. He is the one who has to plan it out the first meeting , the place to meet, the second meeting ,the first line, the second place, first kiss, first hug......

But , the cupid's role is over the moment the first two or at most three meetings are a succesfull hit. Poor chap, he is thrown out of the whole love story as soon as it takes off and when the boy narrates it after three years ,the cupid is nowhere in the picture. When the two make love cupid is nowhere in the picture. when they meet up in coffee shops, bars, restaurants the cupid gets an invite the first two or maybe three times but then again he is nowhere in the picture. When they go on long drives poor cupid is again not there( oh, we forgot there are only 2 seats on a bike!!!).

So where does our cupid go after all this??? guess??? guess again??? He becomes the brother of the girl ,he helped get her guy. And the guy calls him " thanks yaar, you are my best friend". Hapless cupid just did one blunder , he never guessed the ending!!!!

ADVISORY : ' to all cupids out there, don't fall in love with the women you are helping out!!!! '

A friend or A foe....

a friend or a foe....
-- a dedication.

This is a scene cut directly from my small and cherishable life, which has been treating me very well uptill now. So this happened to me when i came to third semester. As usual i kept a low but confident profile in the class. I think they all knew me but it was me who did not know everyone in my class, even after spending one full year with them. I had a small group which mainly had north indian friends and a couple of south indian friends."differentiating between north and south indians was never in our 'almost' dead mind " But we used to have our share of fun. Corner house(ice cream parlour), lunch on BEL road, imitating our classmates and teachers, going for movies,CCD's ,Barista and playing football were our favourite passtime.

But then he happened....entered our group, entered our lives , and was soon a part of us. Someone brilliant with calculator, could have easily fucked your ear drum, endless topics to talk about ,no one could differentiate whether he was laughing or had an asthama attack , changed bikes (from motorcycle to scooty in a year and then he even sold his scooty),had a dog which was double the size of the person himself , forever jobless and always had some seniors advice on any topic we discussed. So this person got a year back in second year and joined us in third semester , so officially he was our senior, but we still called him Bhandari....Samrit Bhandari, obviously unofficially.

Ok so i have this habbit of 'not digesting people' in my life very easily. It takes weeks or maybe even months for me to know whether he can be a perfect friend or a perfect enemy. And it took me more than a month to get accoustomed to Mr. Bhandari. His excessive talking, stupid ideas, and unnecessary topics of discussions pissed me a lotin the beginning. But my friends who gradually became his friends ,definitely faster than me,introduced him into our group, and forced me to give him a second chance. He started coming to my room, we went to his, met his roommate ,planned outings and trips outside Bangalore(which never happened) and celebrated his birthday and finally he was one of us.Though his efforts of getting in and adjusting with rats like us should not be blown away.

Its been almost 2 months since he left, but he is someone we miss now , we remember him regularly ,we talk about him and reminisce everything which we did all this time. But,in this one year we spent with him, i will never forget the day our results came,he got an year back once again and decided to leave engineering and join his dad'sbusiness in Kolkatta. And i don't cherish this day because he decided to leave engineering ,leave Bangalore and leave us but because the way we watched Rock On!!! 'ya the movie' in a truely rocking style. I think it was one of the best days in my 2 years of engineering.

Though we made fun of him , pulled his legs , maybe he was just a pass time or friend with benifits or a foe.....but he was definitely a friend for life!!!!

GIR - some rock & some roll!!!

it was fucking amazing,fucking rocking, it was some ass kicking stuff, minblowing , and the list goes on. Yeah, i am talking about GIR fest - Great India Rock show. It was there in Bangalore, Mumbai and Delhi. I happened to be here in delhi and so i happened to be there in Pragati Maidan. And they rocked, they absolutely rocked!!! Crowd was absolutely rocking , cheering applauding head banging singing humming moshing it was all there and in plenty!!!!

Amazing crowd, good open air theatre and brilliant stuff from the bands. What else do you want in the deep hours of the night(5 to 10 p.m). Bands like Freak Kitten, Hans, Krptos, Undying Inc, Them Clones, Scribe and Satiricon performed and they absolutely rocked. I have just come from the show and i must say i am spellbound. Good Night guys and keep rocking!!!!